Become Your Child’s Stress Management Coach

From Ilchi Lee’s book Power Brain Kids

Adults sometimes mistakenly think that kids have no experience of stress and tension. This is far from the truth. Kids are under a lot of pressure to compete in school, to maintain a desirable status with their peers, and to live up to parental expectations. To top it off, family situations are often unstable, leaving them with little sense of foundation and centeredness. Doctors report that the incidence of serious anxiety disorders is on the rise, and that now as many as 10 percent of children suffer from these problems.
It is a mistake to wait until adulthood to begin teaching stress-management. By this time, negative habits may be very deeply ingrained. As a parent, you might think of yourself as your child’s stress-management coach. Very naturally, your child will look to you for ways to cope with the many difficult issues that are part of life.
So, first become a good role model to your children. The ways you choose to handle stress in your own life are likely to be mimicked by your children. If you need to, change the ways you react to stress and find ways to release stress, such as breathing and meditation. If you incorporate these things into your daily life, your children will consider them a normal and natural part of life.
Also, watch your children carefully for signs of stress. Children often lack the words needed to verbalize the stress they feel and their physical and emotional symptoms may be very different than an adult’s. Physically, children will often manifest stomach aches and head aches in response to stress, or they may have trouble sleeping. Emotionally, they may be prone to outbursts about seemingly petty tings, situations unrelated to the actual cause of stress. Also, you may find that they have become very suddenly shy or introverted.
As with so many human problems, communication offers many solutions for stress. Make it clear to your children that they can talk to you about any problem freely and openly. No matter how small a problem may seem to your adult ears, listen with openness and acceptance. A child may hide a problem if he or she feels it will disappoint you. So, demonstrate to your child that your love is unconditional, and that you are honored to help your child in this way. Make it clear that no problem is too small or too embarrassing to be dealt with honestly and sincerely.